Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord. 1 Samuel 20:42
There’s a monument in the chapel of Christ’s College, Cambridge, England, dedicated to two seventeenth-century physicians, John Finch and Thomas Baines. Known as the “inseparable friends,” Finch and Baines collaborated on medical research and traveled together on diplomatic trips. When Baines died in 1680, Finch lamented their “unbroken marriage of souls” that had lasted thirty-six years. Theirs had been a friendship of affection, loyalty, and commitment.
King David and Jonathan had a friendship equally as close. They shared deep mutual affection (1 Samuel 20:41), and even made vows of commitment to each other (vv. 8–17, 42). Their friendship was marked by radical loyalty (19:1–2; 20:13), Jonathan even sacrificing his right to the throne so David could become king (20:30–31; see 23:15–18). When Jonathan died, David lamented that Jonathan’s love to him had been “more wonderful than that of women” (2 Samuel 1:26).
We may feel uncomfortable today likening friendship to marriage, but maybe friendships like Finch and Baines’ and David and Jonathan’s can help our own friendships reach greater depth. Jesus welcomed His friends to lean against Him (John 13:23–25), and the affection, loyalty, and commitment He shows us can be the basis of the deep friendships we build together.
How do you think faith in Christ can deepen friendship? How could you show more affection, loyalty, or commitment to your friends?
Dear God, please help me to build deeper, more intimate friendships.
For further study, read A Torrent of Justice: Building Relationships of Love and Kindness.
INSIGHT
In addition to the friendship between David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1-3; 2 Samuel 1:26), friendship is mentioned many other times in the Bible. Proverbs tells us that “a friend loves at all times” (17:17) but also warns that friendship can be based on wealth or gifts (14:20; 19:4 ,6) and advises that the righteous “choose their friends carefully” (12:26).
In John 15, Jesus Himself speaks of friendship. He says: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. . . . I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (vv. 13-15). Christ’s statement that friends “lay down” their lives for each other would prove true in the coming hours and days. And the disciples themselves would demonstrate their love for Jesus as all but one (John) would die for their testimony about Him.