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Conquering Mountains

By |2024-10-13T02:33:22-04:00October 13th, 2024|

You may have seen or heard some variation of this saying: “If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together.” It’s a lovely thought, isn’t it? But is there any solid research to reassure us that these words are not just lovely, but true?

Yes! In fact, one such study by British and American researchers demonstrated that people estimated the size of mountains as significantly smaller if they were standing with someone else as opposed to when standing alone. In other words, “social support” matters—so much so that it causes even the size of mountains to shrink in our minds.

David found that kind of encouragement to be both lovely and true in his friendship with Jonathan. The jealous anger of King Saul was like an insurmountable mountain in David’s story causing him to fear for his very life (see 1 Samuel 19:9-18). Without some sort of support—in this case his closest friend—the story could have been drastically different. But Jonathan, “grieved at his father’s shameful treatment of David” (20:34), stood by his friend. “Why should he be put to death?” he asked (v. 32). Their God-ordained friendship bolstered David, allowing him to become Israel’s king.

Our friendships matter. And when God is at the center of them, we can spur each other on to do greater things than we might imagine.

What a Friend

By |2024-09-26T02:33:07-04:00September 26th, 2024|

As favorite backyard neighbors, my mother and Mrs. Sanchez grew also into friendly rivals. The two competed every Monday to first hang their freshly washed laundry on their outdoor clotheslines. “She beat me again!” my mother would say. But the next week, Mama might be first—both enjoying their friendly weekly contest. Over ten years of sharing a backyard alley, the two also shared each other’s wisdom, stories, and hope.

The Bible speaks with great warmth about the virtue of such a friendship. “A friend loves at all times,” Solomon observed (Proverbs 17:17). He also noted, “The pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice” (27:9).

Our great Friend is surely Jesus. Urging loving friendship from His disciples, He taught them, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). The very next day, He would do just that on the cross. He also told them, “I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (v. 15). Then He said, “This my command: Love each other” (v. 17).

With such words, Jesus “is elevating His listeners,” as philosopher Nicholas Wolterstorff said, from lowly humans to companions and confidants. In Christ, we learn to befriend others. What a Friend to teach us such love!

Friends for Life

By |2022-12-15T01:33:12-05:00December 15th, 2022|

William Cowper (1731–1800), the English poet, found a friend in his pastor, John Newton (1725–1807), the former slave trader. Cowper suffered from depression and anxiety, attempting to die by suicide more than once. When Newton visited him, they’d go on long walks together and talk about God. Thinking that Cowper would benefit from engaging creatively and having a reason to write his poetry, the minister had the idea to compile a hymnal. Cowper contributed many songs, including “God Moves in a Mysterious Way.” When Newton moved to another church, he and Cowper remained strong friends and corresponded regularly for the rest of Cowper’s life.

I see parallels between the strong friendship of Cowper and Newton with that of David and Jonathan in the Old Testament. After David defeated Goliath, “Jonathan became one in spirit with David,” loving him as himself (1 Samuel 18:1). Although Jonathan was the son of King Saul, he defended David against the king’s jealousy and anger, asking his father why David should be put to death. In response, “Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him” (1 Samuel 20:33). Jonathan dodged the weapon and was grieved at this shameful treatment of his friend (v. 34).

For both sets of friends, their bond was life-giving as they spurred on each other to serve and love God. How might you similarly encourage a friend today?

Listen and Learn

By |2021-07-14T09:06:03-04:00July 14th, 2021|

On one side of the street a homeowner displays in his yard a giant blow-up bald eagle draped in a US flag. A big truck sits in the driveway, and its side window has a painted flag and the back bumper is covered with patriotic stickers. Directly across the street in a neighbor’s yard are signs that highlight the slogans for current social justice issues in the news.

Are the people in these homes feuding or friends? we might wonder. Is it possible that both families are believers in Jesus? God calls us to live out the words of James 1:19: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Too often we stubbornly hold on to our opinions and aren’t willing to consider what others are thinking. The Matthew Henry Commentary says about this verse: “We should be swift to hear reason and truth on all sides, and be slow to speak . . . and, when we do speak, there should be nothing of wrath.”

Someone has said, “Learning requires listening.” The practical words from God in the book of James can only be accomplished if we’re filled with God’s loving Spirit and choose to respect others. He’s willing to help us make changes in our hearts and attitudes. Are we open to listen and learn?

Never Alone

By |2021-02-24T08:06:06-05:00February 24th, 2021|

“It can be an affliction more harrowing than homelessness, hunger or disease,” wrote Maggie Fergusson in The Economist’s 1843 magazine. Her subject? Loneliness. Fergusson chronicled the increasing rates of loneliness, irrespective of one’s social or economic status, using heart-wrenching examples of what it feels like to be lonely.

The hurt of feeling alone is not new to our day. Indeed, the pain of isolation echoes off the pages of the ancient book of Ecclesiastes. Often attributed to King Solomon, the book captures the sorrow of those who seem to lack any meaningful relationships (4:7–8). The speaker lamented that it is possible to acquire significant wealth, and yet experience no value from it, because there is no one to share it with.

But the speaker also recognized the beauty of companionship, writing that friends help you accomplish more than you could achieve on your own (v. 9); companions help in times of need (v. 10); partners bring comfort (v. 11); and friends can provide protection in difficult situations (v. 12).

Loneliness is a significant struggle, because God created us to offer, and receive, the benefits of friendship and community. If you’re feeling alone, pray that God would help you form meaningful connections with others. In the meantime, find encouragement in the reality that the believer is never truly alone, because Christ’s Spirit is always with us (Matthew 28:20).

Talking Tables

By |2020-05-15T15:03:13-04:00May 24th, 2020|

Loneliness is one of the greatest threats to our sense of well-being, affecting our health through our behaviors on social media, food consumption, and the like. One study suggests that nearly two-thirds of all people—regardless of age or gender—feel lonely at least some of the time. One British supermarket has created “talking tables” in their store cafés as a way to foster connection between people...

From Pity to Praise

By |2020-04-14T21:21:58-04:00April 15th, 2020|

At a coat drive for children, excited kids searched gratefully for their favorite colors and proper sizes. They also gained self-esteem, an organizer said, with new coats boosting their acceptance by peers and school attendance on winter days. The apostle Paul seemed to need a coat, as well, when he wrote Timothy, “Bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas” (2 Timothy 4:13)...

Friendship Bench

By |2020-01-27T08:15:41-05:00January 27th, 2020|

In the African country of Zimbabwe, war trauma and high unemployment can leave people in despair—until they find hope on a “friendship bench.” Hopeless people can go there to talk with trained “grandmothers”—elderly women taught to listen to people struggling with depression, known in that nation’s Shona language as kufungisisa, or “thinking too much..."

True Friends

By |2019-11-06T13:28:03-05:00November 13th, 2019|

In high school, I had a “sometimes friend.” We were “buddies” at our church, and we occasionally hung out together outside of school. But at school, it was a different story. If she met me by herself, she might say hello; but only if no one else was around. Realizing this, I rarely tried to gain her attention within school walls. I knew the limits of our friendship...

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