We called ourselves “sisters in Christ,” but my White friend and I had begun to act like enemies. Over a café breakfast one morning, we argued unkindly over our differing racial views. Then we parted, with me vowing not to see her again. One year later, however, we were hired by the same ministry—working in the same department, unable not to reconnect. Awkwardly at first, we talked over conflicts. Then, over time, God helped us to apologize to each other and to heal and to give the ministry our best.

God also healed the bitter division between Esau and his twin brother, Jacob, and blessed both their lives. A onetime schemer, Jacob had robbed Esau of their father’s blessing. But twenty years later, God called Jacob to return to their homeland. So, Jacob sent ahead bountiful gifts to appease Esau. “But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept” (Genesis 33:4).

Their reunion stands as a classic example of God’s urging to settle anger with a brother or sister before offering our gifts—talents or treasures—to Him (Matthew 5:23–24). Instead, “first go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift” (v. 24). Jacob obeyed God by reconciling with Esau, and later setting up an altar to God (Genesis 33:20). What a beautiful order: First, strive for forgiveness and reconciliation. Then, at His altar, He receives us.