According to Titus 2:5 it is important that a young woman keep her home. She is “to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to [her] husband, so that no one will malign the Word of God.”
Paul’s purpose for telling young women to be pure, self-controlled,and keepers of their home is found in the last part of the verse, “so that no one will malign the Word of God.” How can responsible Christian women honor God in our culture? How do we make decisions for our family that will not make a mockery of our faith? What does it mean to be a keeper of the home? Is being busy at home a command that transcends time and culture? Is it a part of our God-given role to stay at home? Or is it a cultural standard?
There seem to be no clear-cut answers to these questions, but there is an overriding principle that must guide our decisions and actions. We must live our lives blameless before God and the world. We must not do anything that would be negligent or irresponsible, thus subjecting ourselves to criticism that would reflect poorly on Christ. Our actions should put our Lord in a good light, not cast a shadow.
How can a woman keep her home in such a way that reflects well upon her Lord? A woman who is following God’s leading in her life,using her talents and gifts for His ultimate glory, is a woman who is God-honoring. What kinds of things would weaken my testimony as a woman of God? A home that is in a constant state of chaos and disarray. Children with no supervision or care. Out-of-control spending and debt. Great dissension within the home. Disrespect between husband and wife and children.
In a culture that at times demands two-income homes, should women of today be held solely responsible for being the managers of their homes in the same way that the New Testament women were? Or is being a keeper of the home a joint-effort between husband and wife if both work outside the home? Sometimes we get stuck on the question “Who should work outside the home?” when reading Scripture and we fail to realize that there is a higher purpose involved.The higher calling is to protect the Word of God. The primary question to consider is not whether women should work outside of the home, it’s “Are our homes reflecting well on the Lord?”
Foundations To Build Your Home On
The following principles are a foundation upon which to build our homes — homes that will honor Christ and be a testimony to the world.
First, God has established the family to be a reflection of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:21-6:4). Our homes need to mirror the unity and love of Christ. Our love for our families must be sacrificial, just as Christ’s love is sacrificial. He left His throne and sacrificed His life for us, and we are to emulate that kind of humility and sacrifice in our homes. We are to submit to, exhort, and most importantly, love one another (1 Corinthians 13 , Ephesians 5:22 , Hebrews 3:13). Love must guide our decisions as we relate to God, our families, and our world.
Second, God is our provider for our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs (Psalm 23:1; 34:10 ; Matthew 6:28-34 ; James 1:17). If we are doing our best to provide for our family’s needs, we can count on God to fill in the gaps. God will provide for the unique needs of each family.
Third, God says He will be a father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5). If you are a single parent, you have added stress because you are trying to fill the role of both parents in the home. You may feel that you have an impossible task before you. But God will lighten your burden in foreseeable ways by protecting, guiding, and providing for you and your children.
Key Points To Remember
As you make the decision whether to work outside the home, keep these things in mind:
1. Prioritize your life. Make a list of your commitments (i.e., family,financial, etc.) in the order of their importance, with your family at the top. The real needs of your family should be taken care of before lesser pursuits (Proverbs 31:10-31). Make sure your priorities are in line with Scripture, then base your decision on this list of priorities.Give prayerful consideration to your family’s financial situation. Develop a budget that will work for you, and make changes where necessary. If you try, can you meet your financial obligations on one income? (Suggested readings: The Tightwad Gazette or the Frugal Gazette Web site.)
2. Decide on what you consider to be “quality” child care. Undoubtedly, no day-care center can provide the love and care that you can. However, this does not mean that day care cannot give your child a nurturing environment. Take time to observe and select an environment where your values will be upheld and instilled in your children. Working moms and dads need to provide their children with the best care while they are away from home. Research shows that early infant stimulation and interactions have a profound impact on development of emotions and skills (Newsweek, Summer 1997, How To Build A Baby’s Brain, p.28). It is important, therefore, to choose care for your child that will promote emotional and intellectual growth.
3. Utilize the resources of your extended family. Would a grandmother or grandfather be willing and able to care for your child at little or no cost? We may be living in a time where we will rediscover the value of extended family and how relatives can come together and help one another, working for the good of the family.
4. Look for flexibility within your present employment. Can you or your husband seek alternative work options? Your schedules may be able to work together so that one of you is home with the children most of the time. Flextime, job-sharing, and work-at-home jobs are options that may create more flexibility in your schedules and allow you to be able to spend more time with your children.
5. Investigate other means of income that would fit your needs and allow you to work out of your home, creating more time to devote to your children. (Suggested reading: Women Leaving The Workplace by Larry Burkett.)
6. Use the time that you have with your children to its fullest. When you are home with the children, let them know that this time is for them. Turn the TV off and go for a nature walk, read books, talk to your kids, listen to music. Let the dishes go! Or include your children in daily chores around the house to teach them responsibility and the importance of work. Invest in your children with the time that you do have.
7. Take time out for yourself and, if you are married, your spouse. Quiet time is a precious commodity when you are raising a family. Even if it means the children have an earlier bedtime, be sure you take time to invest in your spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being. Setting time boundaries can help your children learn the importance of relationships and respecting others’ needs.
8. Remember that you are not alone. If you are married, rely on your husband for his contribution to the management of your household. Divide the chores and home duties with your husband and your children. Seek the support of other women who are in the same situation. Talk about your struggles with one another. Bible study groups, books, and other resources are available for working moms.
If you have determined that it is impossible to make ends meet on one income, and you have taken steps to provide the best care for your children, you may continue to have feelings of sadness and disappointment. You may feel a sense of loss over not being with your children. You can experience God’s peace as you nurture your relationship with Him through prayer and meditation on His Word (Romans 8:6). And you can be comforted in the fact that, as you seek God first, He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).
Every family is different. God has set up the structure for the family, but His detailed working plan may look different for each family. Although the plans may be different, our goal is the same — to bring glory to the Lord. His plan may be for you to contribute to the financial welfare of your family. His plan may be that you find other employment so that you can spend more time with your children. Or God may be asking you to step out of the work force entirely. Be open to His leading in your life and His will. Ask Him for direction, strength, and wisdom. Do your best with what you have and trust God for the outcome.
